I did not do it. I turned to prayer and put my trust in him. When heard that he wanted to move in with his roommate and his roommates girlfriend after just 4 days of knowing them I almost panicked. Then God told me to be still and know that he is in control. If four days can make him want that then 9 months can change his mind. I put it in Gods hands. When I did not hear from him for a few days I panicked. Dave and I looked at each other and said, "We will take a drive down there tomorrow." I am so glad we did. He was in one piece and alive! He is skinnier then he was from living off cashews for a week. I am not sure why he did not cook all of the good food I bought him. Hew was healthy and happy. I have never been more proud of him! He is adjusting to college life! The girls loved seeing him and we had a wonderful visit. He actually took us on a 5 mile walk and bought apples when he was out! I can now relax and get into a routine.
During all of this I slowly added peanut butter into my diet. It was on my list but it was to be measured and only eaten once a day. I ate it every chance I could. I had peanut butter in my oatmeal, on my bagel, on my apples and on my bananas. I could not believe when I looked and the jar was empty. I wondered who could have eaten all that! Then I realized I did. I stepped on the scale and I had gained 4 pounds this week. I felt bloated and so hyper. I finally called Fawn. She told me to get rid of peanut butter and get back to measuring everything. I started measuring food again. When I stepped on the scale I saw that I had not lost anything, but I did not gain anything either. I was a little discouraged until Gary at the gym looked at my stats for the week. He said I lost 2 pounds of fat and gained 2 pounds of muscle. I moved 4 pounds of body mass around this week. He said I had a perfect week. Now I keep thinking if I would have gotten rid of the peanut butter earlier...I would have had an awesome week. How easy it is to go back into your old habits and turn to food for comfort! It is sad to think that I did that.
I am so much more determined to eat what is right. I notice that I am so sad lately. Maybe it is because I can not believe that my mom has been gone for a whole month and the world did not stop! How could it go on without her? I thought I could not live without her. Yet I did for a whole month. I looked at the older ladies at the gym today and I felt like crying. One asked me how I was doing and I looked at her and said, "I am OK, I am hurting today!" She looked at me and pointed to her friends and said, "Honey, it is a beautiful day outside, and you woke up this morning. Every day I wake up I thank God that I have another day! You need to do the same!" Thank you God for putting people in my path to encourage and remind me that we need to look at each day as a gift from God! My mother lived each day to the fullest. We need to do the same., Every day is an opportunity to do something amazing with your life. Do not let it go by without trying your hardest to make a difference in the world.
Positives this week
* Our pool in Springville will be done on Friday!!!
* I can tell Dave and I have lost inches all of our clothes are getting big
* Dave is on his lost hole in his belt and it is still not small enough!
* People are asking us what we are doing because they are noticing our weight loss
* I am back to measuring everything...and eating directly according to plan.
* I lost 2 pounds of fat and gained 2 pounds of muscle!!!
* Dave is still not drinking enough water. HE was in 300's again this week which made it impossible to read his stats. He lost 10 pounds of water this week! Not good at all. We are going to look for a drink mix that we can add to water to give it a little flavor.
* I am really struggling with sadness from all the loss in my life this last month.