Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Today is your day Mom! written Sept 15,2015

 Yesterday, I looked at the calendar and felt a heavy weight on me all day. A tear would slip down my face unexpectedly. I had no desire to do anything...but think and wait. My day was filled with sadness and dread. You see, five years ago you were with us just a little while longer. One last night on this Earth that was your home for so long. It was so hard at the end. You were fighting for your life. You were fighting to breath because your lungs were so full. You were fighting for be strong because you thought we needed you to be. You were fighting to stay awake, so we could see those beautiful eyes look into ours one last time. It was a day full of sadness and hopelessness.
Today I woke up with a feeling of expectancy, even joy, even peace.... How could that be. How could I be happy one the day you left this Earth? As you caught my eye in the picture sitting next to me I was filled with an emotion I did not understand. It did not make sense...then God told me why. I looked at your picture and smiled. I looked in her eyes and said "This is your day mom" . and I knew it was. 
This is the day, five years ago, that you graduated to heaven. The day you looked in Jesus' face and fell before the father God you loved so much. He smiles and takes your hand and looks in your eyes and says, "Well done!". The day your husband walks up and shows you all of your children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren that have gone there before you. You gather them in your arms and laugh...just laugh. It is real...it is good. Today was the day that you got to see what you spent your whole life living for. What you made come alive in so many people's lives through your wonderful teaching. Five years ago today you got to look around and saw that Heaven is more wonderful then you could ever imagine. 
As today unfolds and we think of all that went on that day five years ago I am once again drawn to the legacy that you and dad left behind. You left seven children who five years ago were each struggling with so many things. You left behind many grandchildren...who knew your laughter and had been a part of your crazy love. You left behind a few great grandchildren who knew you and loved you and thought you were beautiful. You went out of your way to share your love and testimony to all of us. 
Today your children are carrying on where you left off. We are praying for your precious grandchildren and great grandchildren. Many times we wish you were here to "straighten them out", as only you could do... but we are doing the best we can to be the Godly example that you were in their lives. Some days we feel like we have failed so bad. Then I realize that you have felt that way to, with each of us. You just kept praying, just kept sharing God's love, and just kept making us feel special. 
As this day unfolds and each of us are filled with many emotions throughout the day, help us to remember to smile. Help us to remember to live each day as if it were the last. Today is not a day for crying, those days are past. It is a day for smiling and laughing. She did it. She accomplished all she wanted to in her life. She went all over the world sharing God's love. Everywhere her and dad went lives were changed. They showed their love for their family by taking the time to spend with each of us. We need to do the same. Our kids... their grand kids are their legacy. If we can make God real in each of their lives we have done what she tried her whole life to do. 
When we are on our death bed, we can only hope that our children will look at us and say the things we did about mom as she left this Earth five years ago today. That we loved God with our whole heart. That we spent our life serving the father God that was so real to both of our parents. That we left a legacy to be carried on to our children. They are not gone. You can see our parents in each of our children and grandchildren. Their love for life, their ability to make things right, their ability to laugh, their work ethic, their love for family...it is all there. We just need to let them see that these are gifts....from people that loved them so much. 

Today is not a day for crying. It is a day for joy. It is a day when we look at our life and see what we need to do to carry on the legacy that was passed on to us. It is a day that we can smile at the silly songs that used to be sung, the "Johny stories" that were told, the joy of finding a precious treasure while taking a walk and so many other things. It is a day to look up to the sky and thank God that it is real... It is a day to smile and say..."Today is your day mom!"