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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

OK New problem...we are going to visit family for two days...can we do it there?

Can We Leave Home and Stay on Track?

My brother has been working for months on his Vacation Bible School.  When Dave worked at the church, VBS was my baby.  Dave and I would spend hours working on it. I think that was the thing that I missed the most when they had to let them go. (the church did not have enough people or money to support a children's director.)  We have been giving them ideas and were a part of their VBS.  We decided we would go down over night and see thier closing service.  I was so worried about food.  I packed my little lunch box and off we drove the three hours to get there.  We did great! 

Marcy had a meal off our meal plan waiting for us when we got there.  I made eggs according to plan for breakfast...all was well.  Until we were invited to a church picnic!  I was so scared about going.  We stopped at store and I picked up some flat bread and brought left over chicken...just in case they did not have anything we could eat!  It was a senior lunch so Dave and I were the only ones under 55!  Boy do they know how to make a meal. They had everything you could imagine!  It all looked so good.  At first I wanted to try everything.  I didn't, but I wanted to.  They also had many good food choices.  Would I have picked them a month ago...no way. I would have loaded up on all the potatoe salads, cookies and deserts.  Dave and I were perfectly content with our plate of hamburgers on flat bread, fruite salad and a lettace salad.  When it came time for desert, I got busy helping them clean up and did the dishes. This way I would not be tempted to eat any of it.  Later on the way home when we were talking about the trip, Dave said there was only one thing he was tempted to cheat with. At the church they a package of gummy worms on the counter. (those are his favorite!)  He said he almost took a couple, but he did not.

What did we learn from this.  If you plan ahead and work together you can resist any situation. There are usually healthy choices at any potluck now days. It is just a matter of saying no to the things you should not have and saying yes to the things you can have.  All it takes is will power and alternate choices.  If we can do it, so can you!!!

Monday, August 30, 2010

OUCHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and double OUCHIE!!!

   OUCHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and double OUCHIE!!!

I've been pushing myself more in my workouts and do I ever feel it! My current workout is below
  • 15-20 minutes on the eliptical
  • 20 min reps on my weight machine
  • 15 min on the exercise bike (Fawn made me do this, I hate that exercise bike)
I noticed immediately that my workouts hurt more once I started eating right???  I'm not sure why.
I enjoy the eliptical most of all, it's just more interesting then the others I guess. I'm suppose to be taking walks.  "Don't tell Fawn but I have yet to do this step". Our schedule is making the evening walks really tough to pull off.
Today is a tough day for me. I'm really sore and I may be coming down with a cold. I woke up with a sore throat and am really low on energy today. I need to keep at this. I see results and want to keep it going.
See you on the skinny side of Life,
Dave

Sunday, August 29, 2010

To swim or not to swim!!! You need to exercise even when you do not feel like it!!!

video

Oh no....I was invited to lunch. Fawn....HELP!!!!

Oh No...I Was Invited To Lunch. Fawn....HELP!

My brother was going back Tennessee.  He wanted to meet for lunch with Dave and I and him and mom. I instantly said, "Sure!" without thinking.  I got off the phone and panicked.  We couldn't go to lunch.  There was nothing there we could eat.  Plus we would mess up if we did.  I know we would get the wrong thing!  I can't believe I was so stressed over lunch.  I called Fawn and asked her if we could go to lunch. ( I felt like I was asking my mom to go out!)  She said sure and asked where we were going.  I had told Paul that the only ones I think we could do were Panera Bread and Olive Gardens.  Fawn said to go to Olive Gardens.  After a few minutes she told us exactly what to order.  Plain grilled chicken, wheat noodles and sauce was what we were going to ask for.  She said we could each have one bowl of salad.  Dave and I usually order one meal and split it anyways so that is what we did. I asked them to make sure the chicken breasts were about 4 oz each.  I could not believe they did everything perfect for us.  They treated us like royalty!  It was awesome.  We really enjoyed ourselves. 

Mom could not believe how much we had changed in just the week that we have been doing this.  She said Dave's belly was shrinking and his face was getting skinnier.  She also noticed differences in me.  My eyes have been a yellowish color with blood shot eyes for the last few years.  She was amazed at how clear and white they were and how good my face looked. It must be the chemicals that are gone that is doing this. She was such an encouragement to us.  I am glad she was.   We passed another test and succeeded.  We now know if we want to go out we can...but I realized our food is just as good, if not better than anything we could order. We enjoy meals at home just as much now as we do when we go out. At the restaurant,  I did have to tell my brother, Paul, to grab the Andies chocolate and put them away before we took the bill.  I knew that was my down fall!  But, even that was not a huge temptation.  We have come too far to cheat over a little chocolate.

Since then Dave and I ate out one other time...at the Tops Deli!!! We were grocery shopping for mom, and did not bring any snacks with us.  It had been a few hours since we ate, and we were fading fast. The Tops had a Salad Bar, and some cute little  table and chairs.  We each got a salad (with only approved foods) and used the fat free dressing.  It was fun.  We forgot we were in the middle of  a super market, and just enjoyed being out!  It was fun!  We might do that whenever we do mom's shopping!

I learned you can eat out, if you plan ahead and figure out what you are going to get before you get into the restaurant.  Planning is the key. It is also important that you are strong enough to stick to it once you make up your mind. We learned, in the last six months, (even before Fawn came into our life) that one meal in a good restaurant is plenty big enough for two people.  We always tell them we are getting one meal and sharing it.  Most places will put it on two plates for you!  Just be careful.  Everything looks and smells so good when you get in there. Stick to what you planned and eat only what you need!  You can do it.  Nothing tastes as good as being skinny and healthy.  I can not believe we have not cheated once! We do not even have a desire to cheat!  It has been awesome.

Did ya eat everything while I was gone??? From Dave

   Did You Eat Everything While I Was Gone?

Yes I did!, the fact is I've been eating everything in my path for 20 years now...
I was not always like this, I use to be quite athletic. I played street hockey with my best friend Jeff everyday after school for hours and hours. On weekends I'd play any sport I could find. I would play hockey, football, soccer, and  basketball.  You name it I'd play it. I was active, skinny and in really good shape. So then how did this trim 198 pound athletic specimen turn into a 380 pound lazy, unhealthy 47 year old man?

Time was ticking away and with each tick of the clock I started getting lazier and lazier. I did not plan it but life just happened to me. I got married and started working for a living. I no longer had time for all the exercise I was accustomed to. I had places to be and things to do and food to eat. Believe you me I ate it all. I grew up in a house where pasta was king, every Monday night was spaghetti night.  Tuesday night we had potato salad. I'm talking huge heaping never ending bowls of potato salad and did I mention the spaghetti?

My family got together and we always ate a lot of food.  Now I know that I was always eating the wrong foods, but it did not matter because I was always playing sports and exercising it right back off. As I mentioned I got married and there was things to do and places to be. This went on and on until one day I noticed that everybody was calling me "Big Dave".  I thought It was referring to my muscular body.  It was a reference to my body and it's enormous size. I was tipping the scale at 380 and there was no place to go but up.

My wife Kathleen and I went to buy a scale one day and we could not find one that could handle my weight! You see many of them stop at 300 pounds. The old joke about the man who stand on the scale only to hear it say, "One at a time please" was my reality. I was FAT, FAT, FAT!!! My wife and I completely fooled ourselves by saying things like..."Your just big boned!"  I'll say, my bones weighed in at 380 pounds.

 Finally it hit me, man I was really, really fat! I noticed that when I went to the amusement parks with my family that I could not keep up with them. In fact, I often had to find a place to take a nap. I was always sweating A LOT!!! I had rivers of sweat coming off my forehead. I felt disgusting and I looked that way to.  I was huffing and puffing all the time. I was always hearing comments from skinny people like "what are you huffing and puffing about?"  For all us fat people out there I'd just like to say "AWE, SHUT UP!!!!

I became very ashamed of my appearance. I have friends that have a beautiful pool and the offer to let me swim in it all the time. There is no way I'm taking my shirt off and displaying my fatness for all to see. I know what I look like.  I check it out all the time in the mirror and it makes me sick.

 I hated going shopping! It was always the same old thing, "we don't carry that size"  AWE, SHUT UP!!! My doctor ( a real skinny guy) warned me "your headed for diabetes, increased risk of stroke and a whole lot of other bad things if you don't get your weight under control NOW!!!"  I had other symptoms of being overweight to
  1. Lack of sleep - could it be the 10-20 cans of pop I drank each and everyday?
  2. Soreness - Could it be from lugging around 380 pounds all day long?
  3. Stomach problems - DAH, I ate everything and anything in sight.
  4. Fitting into chairs - I often got and still do get stuck in lawn chairs because they were designed for average weight people.
  5. Trouble getting up from any sitting position- It's tough to get 380 pounds any place gracefully.
  6. Poor self image - Of course, I was fat and on my way to getting still fatter.
I remember a few years ago when I took my family to a local amusement park. Outside the ride they had tester seats to make sure that you could fit into the ride. My kids really wanted me to go on that roller coaster with them and I really wanted to go. I tried to fit into that seat with all I had. NO WAY was I going to fit! I was crushed. That was the first time I really felt hurt inside about my weight. I let my kids down all because their Dad could not stop eating all the time. I missed out on a great memory because of my fat body.  It still hurts today as I'm thinking about it right now. When I get into shape me and that coaster are going to have at it again!!!!

I'm here to tell you I'm tired of being fat.  I'm not overweight. I am not big boned.  I'm FAT. Thanks to Fawn I'm seeing incredible results already. She attacked our refrigerator and took out all the food that could hurt us.  "The Grinch left more than she did" she even took the last can of Who Hash (too much sugar she said). No more white bread (I love white bread ), mayonnaise, candy, pancake syrup - SWEET JESUS, NO MORE SODA POP !!!!!!! She has transformed my life all for the good.

I'm losing weight I'm down to 309... I have not been that low in many, many years. It's happening fast. I have not had a bad thing to eat in two weeks, not even one can of pop!!! I'm already sleeping through the night ( I use to toss and turn all night - wired from all the sugar). Initially my new diet made me physically sick, Fawn said it's from withdrawal. No more sugar, no more white bread, no more eating all the wrong foods all the time. NOW, I'm feeling great. My energy is rising I'm not tired all the time. My self image is going up as well. My stomach no longer hurts all the time and it's SHRINKING....

So, ya wanna be skinny again huh?  My advice is to ask for help and do what they say. Soon you'll find yourself accomplishing things you never thought possible. It's time to claim back you body. Food will longer control you life.  I use to get all excited when we'd go out and run errands because I knew we'd go out to eat. Your life is sad when food is the highlight. We need to eat to live not live to eat. Well, don't just sit there getting fatter my friend. Get ready, ready to reclaim your life. See ya on the skinny side of life.

Dave

There is exercise...and then there is exercise!!!

There Is Exercise, and There Is Exercise!

I had exercises reluctantly every day since we started. That was not enjoyable at all. Dave seemed to thrive on it, doing it every day faithfully.  For me it was a chore that needed to be done, that I hated doing.  I know exercise was the key to Dave's weight loss.  He lost 50 pounds without changing his diet at all.  All he did was exercise every day!  I did not share this love and knew I had to change my attitude and the way I did things or this would not work for me.  I enjoyed swimming...but even that was getting to be a chore.  I could not just go to the pool and swim...I had to do 100 laps.  As I walked to the track I prayed about it.  I decided to try it Fawns way.  Her plan says to go one minute fast and one minute regular and to continue that for 30 min. She called it "Intervals".  I was the only one on the track and I decided to try it.  It was hard...but invigorating. It took me 30 min to do 2 miles. (eight times around the track)  I enjoyed it!  It was a challenge to speed up and go slow.  The next day I tried it in the pool. My Rachael looked at me and said, "You were fast there!"  That night I got on the bike as Dave exercised and tried it there.  It was fun!  Dave had to tell me to slow down at one point because I was moving so fast he was afraid I would hurt my neck!  I wrote down time and distance for each of the ways I exercise.  Now I have a goal.  I need to improve my times and go faster and faster.  I realized I am a person that needs challenges. To me doing the same thing over and over is so boring.  Dave thrives on routine. He has also incorporated the speed up and slow down in his workout too, and he is pushing himself to do more than he thought possible.   That is why he is doing so well.  I am so glad that God made us so different!  We compliment each other.  I now look forward to exercise.  I can't wait to see if I can "Beat the Clock" !  It is all about finding something that works for you and doing it.  Whether it is the same thing over and over  or a daily challenge,  you can do it. All it takes is putting those sneakers on and taking the first step.  Once you do, I will worn you, it becomes addicting!

Could we make it without fast food!

Could We Make It Without Fast Food?

This is the start of a new week. It is a scary week.  Dave and I have a very busy schedule. We have 6 shows a day every day this week Sunday through Thursday.  In the past we have always ate out.  When Fawn asked how many times a week we ate out, we laughingly said, "you mean how many times a day!"  When we get busy it is so easy to just go through the drive through and grab food.  We do not spend a lot.  If it is just Dave and I we usually just get a hamburger and small fries off the dollar menu and something to drink.  The problem was we were doing it all day long.  We would go for breakfast and grab a sausage McMuffin, at lunch a hamburger, and when we were done with shows...another.  I was scared for this week. Fawn said absolutely no eating out!  I did not see how that was possible.  We came up with a plan.  The night before I would plan what we were having for the day.  I would get up and pack a lunch cooler and off we would go.  This is what I packed the first day:  Wheat pita bread, lean turkey tomatoes and onions cut up in baggies, two good apples, almonds, and lots of water.  We got up and ate breakfast together, before the shows. We had eggs with peppers and onions cut up.

After first two shows I gave Dave some almonds and an apple. I laughed as he made a face when he tried them. He was not impressed.  But after a few minutes he said, "they may not taste good, but it worked. It gave me energy!"  Off we went to next two shows.  We had energy and did great!  At lunch time we pulled out the lunch.  We found a playground with a picnic bench and had a picnic.  We joked about how we used to do this when we were dating.  We loved the sandwich.  It really tasted good!  We laughed and talked like we have not  done in years.  After the last two shows we were hungry!  We were very tempted to go to McDonalds...but we were good.  We ate our snacks of boiled eggs and wheat bagel and the hunger went away. It was weird to eat a boiled egg in the car... but it gave us something to laugh about! As we drove home we felt like we had accomplished something huge.  Never in our married life had we even thought of doing that!  We did it and felt good for it.  Becca had super waiting for us when we got home... I was so happy!  I felt like we had climbed a second mountain....and did it well.

As the week went on, we looked forward to our times together.  Our picnics during the day.  Our talking in the car.  Something magical is happening....Dave and I are falling more and more in love!
The Journey to Transformation was happening!

One week down!!! Our life has changed already!!!

One Week Down! Our Life Has Changed Already!

I can not believe that one whole week has gone by since we started.  I was scared to get on the scale this morning, but excited too.  What if I gained after all that I had done!  They always say muscle weighs more than fat.  Boy, would that be a disappointment!  Dave and I both took turns on the scale.  As I stepped on the scale I felt like one of those people on Biggest Looser.  I was so nervous!  I lost 6 pounds!  I was so happy.  Dave lost 12 pounds!  Wow!  He was in the teens for the first time in probably ten years. I cried for him I was so happy!  I was glad of my weight loss and that I had finally broke the 260 mark but it was Dave that I was thrilled for!  We are a team.  He has now, since the start of his weight loss, lost 61 pounds!  That is huge!  I thank you God for being there every step of the way. I thank Him for sending someone like Fawn to help us.  I thank Him for all the people who have been there to support us along the way.  We can not do it without your help.  Please continue to follow us and to encourage us.  It means everything to us.

FIRST WEEK EVALUATION:

Effects of change in food:
* I seem to be hyper all of the time.  Almost like when I was on a high dose of prednisone.  I am not sure what is causing it.
*Dave is getting headaches and unable to sleep well. Fawn will be reevaluating his food to make sure he is getting enough.
* I am very sore from exercise!  I have starting taking more pain pills.  I am worried about my back and neck.

Good things that happened:
* We cleaned out our house of all the bad foods and replaced it with good.
*Since that first day I have not had any Splenda- and certainly no chocolate!  I am not having any withdrawal symptoms.  This is huge!  In the past I would have shaking, crying jags and be  lightheaded!
* Dave has had no diet pop at all!!
*We have been able to stick to food plan easily and everyone in the family loves the food!
*Our family is eating meals together and talking and sharing like we have not done in a long time.
*We got calls for shows that gave us money to replace the groceries.  They called on Thursday and   Friday for Sunday.  That does not normally happen.  God is blessing us for making the right choices.
* Dave and I are taking walks and spending time sharing our hearts with each other.  We are becoming a team working together!  It is awesome!

Dave Start weight 380
Start weight with Fawn- 330
Weight at end of week one- 319
Total weight loss- 61 pounds
Total weight loss for week - 11 pounds
Total weight loss with "Life style change" - 11 pounds

Kathleen  Start weight -270
Start weight with Fawn-260
Weight at end of week one-254
Total weight loss- 16 pounds
Total weight loss for week - 6 pounds
Total weight loss with "Life style change" -6 pounds

Total weight loss of Dave and Kathleen 77 pounds
Total weight loss with "Life style change" - 17 pounds


Thanks for following us!!!  We could not do it without your love and support!

It is time to exercise!

It Is Time To Exercise!

Another thing we do as a family now is exercise.  I do not think any of us realize just how much our body can handle until we push it.  If you would have asked me a week ago if I could walk 4 miles, or ride my bike for 7 or do 100 laps... I would have said no way!  We are doing It. I have accomplished all of those things this week!  Now I have a base and want to better my times.  Dave, for the past six months has been exercising on an exercise machine my nephew Sean gave him.  He has done wonderful. He actually lost 50 pounds before Fawn was in the picture.  He bought me an exercise bike and continually asked if I wanted to ride with him. I always made excuses.  Now there are no excuses.  I need to exercise every day.  It is not easy.  Many days I am so tired and hurting that I fall back into my trying to justify why I can't do it.  I was in an accident nine years ago and I have a plate and screws in my neck.  I do need to be careful of what I do. I have all kinds of excuses. What I don't need is excuses. I will be able to do so much more when this weight is off.  Rachael, the one I brought my food too, has offered to walk with me around the track.  The girl love to go to the pool with me while I do laps, and Dave and I are starting to take walks after super!  It is fun to spend time with Dave just talking about our day.  We are become more in love then ever!  He is so awesome.

My family is going on the journey with us....Yeah!!!!

My Family is Going on the Journey With US...YEAH!

I am so glad my family is willing to do this with Dave and I.  Our three children could be resentful that we no longer have "any good food" in the house.  They are not. They are very excited about our "Life change". Becca has been our biggest cheerleader.  She helps us with the videos, and has been our cook for the last few days.  We have been so busy that we have not had time to sit down and make meals.  Becca has made the meals, measured everything out onto our plates, and served us. She made brown rice in the rice maker, grilled chicken on the George Forman grill, and lots of vegies fried in a pan with butter flavored cooking spray.  No fat...but boy was it tasty!  Everyone loved it.

I think the biggest plus of this whole "Life change" is we are back to eating meals as a family again. It is so easy to just fix things quick and have everyone grab a plate and just go in the living room and eat as we watch a movie. Not any more. TV is off at our house and we eat all together. I love hearing how my kids days went.  What is going on in their lives. That was worth more to me then the weight loss.  My 19 year old son now looks for meal times, (maybe because there is nothing in the house to snack on!!) and enjoys spending time with his family.  I would have missed that if we did not start this.  Brandon is leaving for college in October- spending time with him now is more wonderful then anything else.  Our lifestyle really is changing...for the better!

Time to fill those cupboards again! This time with healthy food!

Time To Fill Those Cupboards With Healthy Food!

I could not go even one day with those empty cupboards.  The girls offered to go shopping with me.  Off we went to Aldies and then Wal-Mart. We had printed off our grocery list, and we were ready to go.  The problem was money.  Dave had lost his job this summer and things were very tight for us right now.  I told the girls lets plan just enough meals for the week and we will get more later.  I was amazed at all I could get for under $80.00.  Aldies had the fit and active food so we were able to get our noodles, rice, and fruits and vegies there.  All we needed to get from Wal-Mart was wheat pita bread and wraps!  I felt like I climbed my first mountain that day.  I had cleansed my house of all the bad and filled it with good.  I was ready for anything!  Weight loss here we come!!!! 

Our starting weights with Fawn are:

Dave:  330
Kathleen 260
We both want to loose at least 100 pounds.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Kitchen Cleanout!














 
First Step...Kitchen Clean Out!

In order to start their healthy, new lifestyle on the right track, we had to clean out their refrigerator and cabinets! By saying goodbye to mayo, white bread, and butter, we are leaving room for the healthy, new options! In order to start off your healthy, new lifestyle, don't keep unhealthy options in your home! If they are there, you will eat them!!! Way to go Kathleen and Dave, you are off to a great start!


                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNqrrIsqhk&feature=channel

This is Kathleen's view of the Day-

The morning of this video, I had shows all morning.  I was CoCo the Clown.  I did not have time for breakfast since I left late that morning.  After much deliberation ...I pulled into McDonalds (this is after Fawn said "NO eating out").  I thought I was being good by ordering 2 grilled chicken snack wraps, a fruit smoothie, and of course, my large ice tea.  I proudly only put in seven Splenda's (instead of the usual eight!)  I was exhausted by the time I pulled into my driveway.  I had been up until 11:30 the night before and was up by 7 the next morning.  I groaned as I pulled in the driveway and say Fawn's car.  I did not want talk to anyone.  I wanted to take a nap!  As I came up the stairs of my house, out came Fawn's smiley face, with the camera, saying "Aunt Kathleen...say hello!!!".   The last thing I wanted to do is be cheerful.  It was a good thing my smile was painted on my face, because I was not a very cheerful clown.  As I walked in, she was interviewing my girls asking them what they felt about us doing this program. 

Dave was joking around. Everyone was laughing and having a good time.  I felt very out of place in my clown outfit.  I ran up stairs and took a long shower.  I hoped  everyone would be gone by the time I got done....but no!  When I came down I could not believe what they were doing!  Fawn and Dave and my girls  (traitors) were cleaning out my refrigerator, my cupboards, and my freezer.  They were putting all of my precious foods that I had just bought into garbage bags!  I did not know what to do.  The first thing I said was..."You can't throw that all out!".  She was taking all of my comfort foods...my French vanilla creamer for my tea, my mayo for my tuna sandwiches, my butter for my toast, my frozen pizzas and chicken patties for when I was too lazy to make super!  She wanted to take my splenda, but I held on to them tight.  Fawn said, "We will work on those later!". Then my daughter had the nerve to say "you forgot this freezer!". (so cheerful I could strangle her!!!) Out marched Fawn.  Out marched my girls with the box of garbage bags.  I had to leave the room and pretend I was ok with all this.  My sister in law looked at me and said, "Are you ready for this?".  I joked like everything was fine.  Sure I was ok with this, I had made a commitment didn't I.  My girls then, always willing to help, loaded the bags in the van. Once everyone left I immediately went to my now empty cupboards. (3 boxes of wheat noodles, 2 cans of tuna and spices left).  I felt violated, empty, scared.... I knew I had made a commitment but I did not realize it would mean this.  For the first time in my married life...I had empty cupboards.  It scared me.  I almost felt panicked.  I was lost.  My security was gone.  I felt striped bare and did not know what to do.

As I drove to my friends house, the question kept coming back to me... "Are you ready for this?". I told the girls to stay in the car and I walked up alone to my friends house.  (She has 3 of her own and 3 foster children)  The driveway seemed endless.  I walked in Rachael's house and said "I have food for you!" and burst into tears.  She had not seen me in a while and she had no idea what was going on.  I started to explain and she hugged me and told me I could do it.  She even offered to walk with me every night!  I had my girls bring in the bags for her to look through.  It was an eye opener when I heard her say, "We don't use mayo, we don't use this kind of oil, we don't use..."  It made me realize that maybe Fawn did know what she was talking about.  What was left (about 3 bags full now) I dropped off at one of my friends that is a single mom. We had been bringing her two girls to church for the past 3 years. She was so glad that we had brought her food.  She was almost out of foodstamps and did not know how she would make it through the month!  As she thanked me and hugged  me I realized that good had come from our loss.  Was it easy, no way.  It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done.  But as I went shopping and filled my house with good foods, I realized that it needed to be done.  The "life change" would never have taken place if that was not done.  It would have been too easy for me to fall back on my old habits when I was tired. I needed to make the healthy change.  It opened my eyes to see just how much food meant to me.  I was using it as my comfort.  When I felt bad, I would eat.  When I was tired, I would eat.  When I was sad, I would eat.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but one that I needed to go through.

If Dave and I want to lead a healthy life, and be there for our children, we need to make changes in our life.  I thank God that Fawn had the strength to do it.  It could not have been easy coming into someone's home and emptying there cupboards. I think it would be even harder to do that to a family member.   It was needed for me to take this seriously and realize that changes needed to be made.