Sunday, December 4, 2011

Sometimes you just need to sit down and be reminded why we are doing what we are doing.....

It is time to look back on where we have come from....I look at this video and see that we have changed so much since this was done.  We have lost alot more weight. I am sharing it with you all becaus ei do not  think I ever have, and those of you that started ont his journey with me need to be reminded that we can do it.  It takes, "Drive, determination and the will power to never give up....We can reach our goals...We have done so much. today I got up at 8 (after being up from 12:30am-4:30am doing papers) and went to the gym.  I felt so much better once I worked out.  We are so much more effective in our life if we are doing what we are supposed to do.
I miss everyone in our group...I know they are struggling and I wish we could somehow get us all back on track and working together as a team again.  Dave and I are still going strong. We have lost over 200 pounds between us. We continue to go to the gym and Brandon is now working with a trainer at the gym.  The funniest part was when they gave him a diet and I looked at it and it was everything that Fawn said to eat.  I am proud of my son.  I  am so in love with my husband.... I looked at him today as he was performing a magic show for the Children at a Christmas party and he took my breath away. After being married for over 25 years, and dating him since I was 16, he is still the love of my life.  He is my hero...my best friend and I am blessed to have him in my life.  Right now we are going through one of the hardest times we have ever gone through....But God is good...all the time.  Please pray that God will continue to  bless Dave in I in all that we try to do, and that when we struggle He will lift us up and be our safe place. 
I thank all of you that have continud to follow us. You are awesome. We could not have done it without you all.  You are the reason we have been so successful. When we are ready to give up, I look at all the people (over 6000) that come and read my blog and are there faithfully from all over the world and I know that I can not let you all down.  I have to stay faithful.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart!  You are a blessing in my life!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

She called me "Her Coach!"

Now I know how Fawn felt when she took each of us on...excited, scared, and ready to do anything to help her "chicks" succeed!  This last week a friend of mine was finally ready to start working with me.  We had talked a year ago, and she wanted to, but we never got together...then two months ago when I saw her at a swim meet she told me whe was going to get her stomach stapled. I almost started crying and said..."NO DONT DO IT!"  I told her I would work with her.  This last week she told me she was joining a gym. I told her that is wonderful, and if she goes to mine for the week for free I would show her what to do.  Well...she has been with me the last two days.  She is working soooo hard! I am so proud of her.  We will have to work on her diet to, but right now we are trying to get to the gym as much as possible because we only have one free week!  It is helping me to.
I came accrossed an email I had sent to my sister Paulette in November of 2009. She has a clothes closet and can get us clothes when we need them. THis is what I wrote. Paulette, "If you can look in your clothes closet Dave and I could really use some clothes.  I am a 2-3X and Size 24-26 pants and dave is 3X and size 46 pants! We really could use some things for the winter!"  Wow! This is two years later and I am a size M_L and size 14 pants!  Dave is now M-L and size 38 pants! We have kept the weight off for over a year and we are still faithful to going to the gym at least 3-5 times a week and are continueing to loose weight!  We are doing it! I am so happy and so thankful for all of you who have supported me this last year. 
As I was at the gym working with Pam I looked up and saw our reflections in the mirror.  I looked at her and said, "Look in the mirror!  A year and a half ago I was your size....If I can do  it so can you!" That is what life is all about... continuing to help others the way others have helped you....pass it on!  If each one of us passes it on, we will have a better world to live in.

Monday, November 7, 2011

You can do anything you set your mind to...

You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To!

There are certain days in your life that you look back on and you say, "This was a life changer!"  The day I married my childhood sweet heart. The day we decided to have children. The day of my accident. The day we decided to loose weight. Well this last week was one of those Life changers. We spent the week at a conference of people all wanting the same thing...to take their business to the next level.  Now mind you, of everyone there Dave and I were defiantly on the lower rung of the ladder.  We were surrounded by people who have succeeded, and wanted to do better.  The whole concept was mind boggling to me.  Here we are struggling to keep our bills paid and these people have been living the dream that we have wanted and are making it.   Why weren't we?

The moment of change was Thursday night.  We sat in Brad Ross' (the Brad Ross that traveled with Disney doing magic shows) suite for our fireside chat. I had just done my 100 laps in the pool and sat in front of Dave on the floor. Now mind you , this is after we had a Fairy tale day of working with Joanie Spina (the person who has choreographed David Copperfield's shows) We had a makeup artist put our make  up on and had done a photo shoot.  It was an amazing day.  I thought about going to the room and just relaxing, as I did the first night...but I couldn't. Tommy Hilken, the motivational speaker for the night,.told us we needed to be there...we had to go. 

As I looked around the room at my new found friends, I felt accepted an full of peace in that room. Tommy was the most amazing speaker I have ever heard.  I am a note taker, and I can honestly say I filled 10 pages of notes in his hour speech.  It was all about becoming who you were meant to be.  He challenged us to see our selves making our goals, to forget about the past and make room in our subconscious to make our dreams come true.  He told us to use our intuition and trust it, not ignore it.  One of our biggest obstacles in life is our self image.  Although our self image has grown with the weight loss,we still have the nagging voices inside that say, "you will never be good enough!", "You cant do it!", "You don't deserve to do it!"  He challenged us to put a name on that voice and tell them to shut up!  We need to weed out old ideas and don't let our fear, doubt and uncertainty rule over us.  As he challenged us to see ourselves as being what we wish-hope- dream to be. I thought about my weight loss.  If you would have told me a year and a half ago that I would be wearing a 14 pair of pants, instead of the 26 I was wearing, and Dave would be wearing size 38 pants,instead of the 48 he was wearing, I would have laughed at you. I would never have seen it as possible.  It took a dream...a dress of my mothers, a wish of my husbands, and a book of someone that did it to make me believe that it was a possibility.

Once we found that dream we took steps to see it happen. I contacted Fawn, made a commitment to her, cleaned out my cupboards and filled them with good food, and started making the gym a part of our life.  Every day we had a plan, a purpose, and a reason for doing the things that we did!  See, we had the power to create that image that we wanted, and to become that image in a short period of time...WE DID IT!  He said, "If you want to stop smoking....you need to stop smoking. In the same way, if you want to loose weight, you need to loose weight.

Here are some steps that you can take to loose weight;
1. Make a decision- Decide who you want to be
2.  You have to work to get what you want- make  plan
3. From this day forward take steps towards that plan
          *Clean out your cupboards
          *Go shopping for good food
          *Plan your menus and stick to them
          *Start exercising every day (30-45 min)
          *Evaluate how you are doing (weigh in once a week)
          *Make plans to make it happen
           *Set your goal and stick to it.
           *See yourself  being the person you want to become

I loved when Tommy said "Your imagination is the workshop of your mind...you can build anything you want!  See it!  Believe it!  Start to Achieve it!  Become it!
Get rid of the old image, let go of those destructive habits...remember the old image is giving you the results you have now. You don't want those results.  you want to achieve things you never thought possible. Go ahead, dream them up, and you can achieve them.."

So my challenge to you is: Take immediate steps to accomplish your goals.  IF you have gotten sidetracked on your journey...get back up, wipe off the past, and start fresh today!  You can do it.  Don't be discouraged if you have gained your weight back.  It will come off easier now. Your body wants to be down to what it was before.  My friends...You can do it.  You just need to go back to the beginning when you started and start telling yourself exactly what you are doing for the day!  Get a winners image.. because you are a winner!  You can succeed.  I believe in you.  All it takes now is for  you to  start believing in yourself and make it happen!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Celebrate their lasts.....

Celebrate Their Lasts...

When our children are young we treasure every first...the first laugh, the first tooth, the first time our child rolls over, the first time they walk.  Especially with your first child, each one of those momentous occasions are treasured.  I remember with Brandon sitting in his room for hours with the video camera trying to capture the first time he rolled over on video.  I was laughing and clapping as he finally achieved it.  I remember his first laugh, first real laugh, when he was sitting with his daddy. Dave and I had tears in our eyes as we celebrated our child's first laugh.  I remember holding Becca in my arms for the first time and thinking I am so blessed. I was amazed at this beautiful treasure that God has given us.  I remember playing with Rachael's curlies thinking I was the luckiest mom in the world....to have such a wonderful girl to love. I treasured them but time moves quickly.

When they are young we are so busy celebrating the firsts, that we forget to celebrate the lasts.
Sure we celebrate things like the last diaper, the last day of school, but  the precious ones usually go unnoticed and slip by without us even noticing...

The last time you nurse your child...giving them nourishment from your body for the last time
The last time you slip money under your child's pillow and take out a tooth hoping your child still believes in fairy tales.
The last time your child jumps into your arms with no fear knowing that you will catch them, no matter how far they fall.
The last time your child places their hand in yours because they know you will protect them from anything the world has to offer.
The last family baseball game, where you can never strike out.
The last time they come down the stairs Christmas morning and are actually surprised to see presents under the tree...still believing in the magic of Christmas.
The last time they did skits as a family and were unafraid to tell others that Jesus loves them so very much.
The last time you helped them tie their shoe, because mom and dad know how to do everything.
The last time we turned off the lights and played hide'n'go seek through the whole house,knowing that nothing can hurt us in the dark, as long as we are together.
The last musical at school,where we sat in the seats bursting with pride as our children sang and acted for our friends and family
The last football game, cheerleading, or swim meet where our children competed with no fear of failure or defeat.
The last time they ask for keys for the car, still needing you because they did not have their own.
The last time I got invited into their room at night to pray with them over a problem they had...and hug them tight telling them how very proud I am of them and how special they are to me...
The last camping trip, where they actually want to spend time with us as a family, and are not to busy to fit us in their schedule.
The last movie night, where Rachael would set up a store and Brandon would make fake money,just for us, to make our night special.
The last time they looked up at us with their adoring faces thinking we were bigger then life......

Time passes so quickly! If you have small children, make each day a celebration of the time you have with them. If you have teenagers, take the time to get to know the awesome people they are becoming.  If you have adult children, find time to connect with them.  Life is just a flitter of a moment. It is over before you blink your eyes.  It is too short to let a moment go by without telling your children how very much you love them, and how very proud you are of them.  Take time to celebrate the lasts in your life.....

Today was a day of lasts for me....Today we closed on my moms house...it is no longer in the family.  It is a happy, but a sad time.  I was not planning on going out to house today....I had so much to do....but then in my heart I knew I had to .  For one last time.  I thought I had the keys with me, but the ones that I had did not fit in the door...so I could not go in.  At first I was sad, but then I sat on the porch and wrote a note to the people that are moving in.  I had gotten 2 large mums and a sweet roll to put at moms house for the new owners.  I wrote them a letter and arranged everything in the entry way  As I walked around the house one last time I realized how blessed I was to have such awesome parents...they filled our house with  love and laughter. 
As I left moms house for the last time I was headed toward another last... I was doing a show at OLV where my dad was when they told us he was dying.  It was the last place he was before they transferred him to a Pittsburgh hospital. Then I had an eye appointment at the last place mom had her cataract surgery. Then I ate at Red Lobster with Brandon and our last "BURKE" get together was there. Wow, .I did not plan for all of this to happen on this special day...but God did.  I think it was a day of closure for me! 


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

We could realy use your help right now!!!

For the first time in forever I have to say that Dave and I have both had a weight gain...(probably all those lara bars and cliff bars!!)  All kidding aside.... we need your help.  I vowed I never wanted to get above 200 pounds...this morning I was 200.8(a 4 pound gain)...Dave was 262 (a 12 pound gain) and the hardest thing about it is we just dont know how to get back on track.  I know I have been swiming, but that is it.  The gym seems so forign to me and Dave right now.  Our membership expired and we just dont have the money to renew it right now... Our eating has gotten all mixed up...and we just can not seem to get back on track.  We are asking for your prayer support....we have come to far to let this happen.  We do not want to gain any weight back,,,,we are not done loosing.  Please come beside us in prayer. Here are our prayer requests
1. that God would bless our magic business enough that Dave can quit delivering papers.
2. That God would provide the money we need for our membership dues at Springcreek athletic club
3. That if it is God's will He will provide a way for us to make it to magic conference in NYC and that  it would provide the jumpstart we need to launch our carreer into next stage.
4.  That our children would seek God's will for their life and not get mixed up in the world
5. That we can get motivated to get back on track in loosing weight
6. That God would heal Dave's shoulder and deliver him from the pain he is in
7. That God will keep our cars running and/or provide us with a car that is dependable
8. That Becca will have direction and money for college.(she wants to go to Liberty in VA)
9. That we would find a church that we can open up and minister in
10. That God would bless our marriage and bring back the closness we had when we started this journey a year ago
11. That God would become real in each of my families lives.
12. That the others on our "Life style change" journey will get back up and continue on
13. That God will bless Fawn (our lifestyle coach) in a special way this month
I know it seems like a lot we are asking...but we have served God faithfully our whole life.  We want to continue to do so...we can not do that when we are physically, emotionally and spiritually drained.
I am laying my heart out here because I know you care.  You have faithfully been there with us for the last year...I believe in the power of prayer...I know if we all come together,,,things will happen....right now we are to tired to keep going....please join  us in prayer for these  requests and we will let you know what happens...we will expect BIG things!
Love you all...thanks for all your love and support over this past year...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Even when you are going through tough times you can keep on track!

This has been one of the hardest, most emotional weeks that I have gone through since mom died.  There were times that I did not think I would make it.  I have cried more this week then  have in a long time, but I am still determined to stay strong.  I thank you all for all your support, your love and your encouragment.  Dave and I are doing well, just need some extra prayers this week.  I cant go into details but please pray that things get bettter.  We are still standing firm, and determined to loose weight, but we  just need to make some decisions, and trust God will honor those decisions.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Could we walk away from it all???

When Dave and I were children;s evangelists at Chambers camp many years ago we were talking about past evangelists they have had in the past.  They were telling us about this one family that was no longer doing the ministry, and was not doing anything for God...I Remembered thinking...."How could that ever happen."  God was soooo very real in our life I could not fatham anyone who was serving God so faithfully able to walk away from Him and His work.  I thought..."That would NEVER happen to us.  I could never imagine being a family that does not go to church....the week would not even be complete...
I am not saying it has...but I now can see how it could happen.  It starts with little things....This has been a tough year for my family...we have lost alot, and our faith has been strianed. 
There were many times I would look at my family and feel like we were so "Worldly".  The summer was so crazy we got out of the habbit of going to chuch...we only prayed at meal times...and Dave and the kids really seemed to be struggling with God being real in their lives.  Brandon was angry at God for Grandmas suffering, Dave was disappointed in the whole church situation, and the girls just seemed to care more about sports and friends then God.  He did not seem real to them.  It seemed like every time we were doing things with "Christian" organizations or people we got burned...  We had alot of that this summer...Plus Dave was in pain....his soulders were hurting like crazy, we spent all this time getting in shape and loosing weight, and now he cant even lift a glass of water without hurting.  The job of delivering  papers were throwing us so off schedule.   We really have not had time to go to the gym in a month...and no matter how many jobs we took on, we never seemed to be able to catch up on bills...ONe thing after another, and we seemed so far away from God, that I started to panic!  Each of my girls came up to me this week and told me that no matter how hard they pray, they can't feel God. ...I told them that it is normal process, and they have to "work out their salvation...meaning, Although they are saved, God has to become, not something mom and dad told us to do, but something they want to do... they did not see that happening.Brandon was just plain angry at God, and Dave just was apathetic.  Not that I was Ms. Spiritual during all this, but, I just kept praying....God, make yourself real to my family....and each day somthing else seemed to fall apart!  Both of our cars are in need of over $500 in repairs,plus inspection is up in 4 days on car and it wont pass inspection,  Brandon's car is undrivable and needs about $1000 in repairs...Rebecca tore her miniscus and could not swim, Dave was saying he was in pain all the time, and I got an infection in my eye and cold sores in my mouth...the microwave stopped working, the dishwasher broke, and every time we opened the mail it was another bill....and the house was filled with flies...no matter how much I cleaned.  I felt like we were living in plagues, or a demented country music song... everything happended but the dog dying (which at this point may have been a blessing, since he still is not house broken....)
 I just kept praying....God, somehow make yourself real to my kids....my husband, myself...
Rebecca was really upset that she could not swim.  This was her senior year...she was going for the school record and scholarships.  She had worked all summer long at gym so she would be in shape for swimming.  It killed me to tell her she could not swim.  The specialist could not see her until October 10th.  The season was over the 18th...we knew she was done for the seeason.  It was heartbreaking to see her hurt.  I was talking to a friend and they suggested I try another specialist.  I called and got an appointment for both Becca and Dave for Oct 1 (which was still 2 weeks awaay at the time)  it was better, but it still did not help her with her swimming. Rachael, Brandon and I have been going to University of Buffalo for swimming and her for Diving.  I have enjoyed swimming, and have been doing 100 laps in the pool about 2-5 times per week, depending on the week.  I was swimming and all of a sudden I knew I had to go talk to the swim coach about Becca.  It was as if God told me to do it.  At first I ignored it,  and after the 3rd time...I decided I better listen. Didn't I just pray that day for God to make himself real to Becca....I walked up to the coach, told them what had happened to Becca and asked him if he knew of anyone that could help...he said he really did not and walked away.  I stood there for a minute in shock...was I not just told to go talk to this man???? Then the still quiet voice told me to go ask him again...I wanted to go back into the water and forget the whole thing...but I knew I had to listen....I walked back up to the coach looked him right in the eye and said..."Isn't there anything you can do?  It is her senior year, she needs to swim....she needs this schoolarship" and I just stared at him...with, as my brother and sister would say, my puppy dog eyes.  He looked at me and then said, " Let me make a phone call..." and walked away. He was gone for like 10 min. I thought he had forgotten me, but when he came back he had a piece of paper in his hand....he explained that 5 years ago, when he was still in college,he had lived with a family of whose children swam in high school.  They were orthopedic doctors (both husband and wife)  He called them and told them the situation.  He handed me the paper and said to call them in the morning and they will see if they can fit her in this week.  That was Wednesday night.  Thursday morning I called at 7 before I left for work.  I thought they would be closed and I would just leave a message...but no they answered right away...once I explained it all to her, she looked at her book and said, "Well, we just had a cancelation, can you have her in here by 9!"  I told her we sure would!  Dave took her in, They were wonderful.  They said she she definatly hasd a torn miniscus that only surgery would fix and  needs to see a specilaist. They made a call and she had an appoinment for the next morning!  She went there, they said she needs surgery, and they would do it monday morning!!!THey also told her it would not hurt her too swim...she could swim that night...She ran home just in time to leave on the bus for the swim meet!  She made ECIC (that was her goal, so she could get a chance to go on to state competition)  in both of the races she swam in!   Now mind you this is all happening so fast we barely have time to get all of the approvals for insurance,,,but for once they came  through without a hitch.  They did the surgery Monday morning.  It was actually torn in two spots, and it definatly needed surgery.  They had her on the bike 15 min after surgery!  They wanted her to do physical theropy the next morning.  As we brought her home I was just amazed at how God worked out every  little detail....I hugged her in the kitchen and started to cry...I told her..." You said two days ago no matter how much you pary you cant feel God...I have been praying that God would make Himself real in your life...and He did...I just want you to see how much God loves you!"  I walked into the office and a book caught my eye..."The Power of a Praying Wife"  Right then I was convicted...I had been praying for my kids, but my husband is in so much pain,,,, I need to pray for his healing...I stopped righ there and had a talk with God..." Pleas heal my husband...so he can see how much you love him."  I then got the idea.....if they could help Becca this quickly, maybe, they could help Dave too...when I called for Becca's appointment I also asked for one for Dave....They were able to get him in at 8:45 and Becca in at 9:00  Now those of you that have made appoinments with specialists know that this just does not happen. These were not just any specialist, these were the doctors that work with the Buffalo Sabers....sports doctors..."They also just happened to have a cancelation!"  God also told me to tell Dave to ask for an injection.  Now I have had injections many times in my neck...but never on a first visit evaluation...but I was not running this show...God was...I was just doing what he told me to do...Dave did not look to thrilled with my suggestion  (I did not even tell him where I got the idea from)  When I came home from school later that day, I looked at Dave and immediatly knew something was different.  I could see it in the way he was standing, and the pain was gone on his face...when I asked him what happened, he told me the doctor gave him an injection (he did not suggest it)  He would not admit that he felt better...The doctor also said Becca was doing wonderful,and that the stitches would come out Friday, and she would be good to go...she could start swimming on Monday! ONe WEek after surgery!!!  I kept watching Dave all eveining...and finally he looked up at me and said.."The pain is completly gone!"  I looked at him with tears in my eyes and told him...."I prayed yesturday moring for your healing!  God did it!"
I know this was a long post...but you have to see that God does care about the little things...The hurt knees, the sholders that ache...the cars that are broken (tonight at my meeting someone gave me a name of a mechanic around the corner from my house that is wonderful and half the price of my mechanic)  Now I am not saying that everything is magically fixed...Only time will tell, but I know that my family now knows that God loves them and cares about them.  God answered so many prayers...when I opened up facebook this evening the first thing I read was my Beccas posting...it was this....
when all of the sudden, i am unaware of the afflictions eclipsed by glory. and i realize just how beautiful you are. and how great your effections for me.

Tears came to my eyes.... we serve an awesome God!
Keep praying for my family...he is doing something wonderful, I can feel it!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I am so glad I listened and went to my mom's house tonight!

I Am So Glad I Went To Mom's House Tonight!

Tonight I got the best gift I could have ever gotten.  If I did no listen to the voice inside that said GO, I would have missed out on a memory that will be with me the rest of my life.  I wanted to share it with you so you can see how much God cares about our feelings.  He knows that we needed to have peace about who we were selling the house to.!  It is a hard thing to give up the last piece of our parents we have…but today I can honestly say, I am excited for what God has in store for it….
I had a show in Hamburg.  I was performing as CoCo the Clown at a 3 year olds birthday party.  The show went better than expected. I just had so much fun clowning around.  The whole time I was there I was thinking about mom, and the house…knowing that the new owners were supposed to be there to start working on the house. I kept thinking, "should I go or not?" I texted the person  who was renting and asked him, “Are they there?”  He wrote back “They weren’t when I left but I will be home in 15 min. and I will let you know.”   I told him that I was doing a clown show that was ten min away.  He said, “oh, my kids would love that, can you come over?"  I really only wanted to go if the new owners were there, but I did not want to disappoint him.  I was having an internal conflict with myself…arguing out loud in the car…My heart wanted to go…but time wise, I wanted to just go home and rest, Finally the voice that said “Go!” won and I found myself on my way to moms house.  As I pulled onto mom’s road, I remembered the last time I  came as a clown.  Mom always loved it.  She would get such a great big smile on her face when I came in as CoCo the Clown!  As I remembered the last time that happened, I started to tear up. I had to tell myself to "Straighten up…clowns shouldn’t cry!"   As I pulled into the driveway Little Camden (Mike’s son) ran out of the house as soon as I got out of the car.  He was so excited! He was jumping up and down and saying, ”This is so cool! You are soooo cool! You are the coolest clown eve! I can’t believe you came to see me!”  I got my balloon pump out and told him I would make him balloon animals.  He was so excited.  They had me come in the living room.  As we walked in, Camden spread his arms out real big and motioned around the living room and said..."Don't you just love this place!"  That was it...CoCo the Clown had tears coming down her face... I looked at him and said, "Yes, honey I love this place very much..."  Then Mike explained that I lived here from the time I was  a little girl.  After that Mike, His wife Jen, daughter Maddie and Son Camden watched and laughed as I made balloons.  I made a sward and a belt for Camden…which of course made Mike say….”I need one too!”   I made a dog on a leash for Maddie and then once I made a flower I told Camden to take it over to his mom and tell her it was for her and that he loved her!  Once he did that, and the whole family went, ”Awe How cute!”  a sword fight broke out between the boys… which of course made me  produce 3 more swords and we all had a sword fight in the living room.  It was so great to hear so much laughter in the house.  It was a gift I will never forget. If I would have went home then I would have felt fulfilled…but it gets better. 

I walked into the kitchen and looked out the window and saw two guys working on the barn…I looked at Mike and said,  “Is one of them the one buying the house?”  He pointed to one and said he thought it was that one…I   asked him…”well, should I go as CoCo the clown or go change and look like a respectable person?”  He gets that special smile on his face that reminds me of dad puts his arm around me and gives me a squeeze and says, “I think you should go out just like you are!  I will go out with you!” 

As I am walking out toward the barn the guys look up and start laughing at me.  They look at Mike and me and say, “They sure do dress different out here in the country don’t they!”  Mike then introduces me as one of the owners of the house and the mans eyes light up…He grabs my hand shakes it and says, “Thank you so much for selling me your house!”  He goes on to tell me it is his dream house.  Then he says, “Wait, I have to show you something….”  He looks though his phone and opens up a picture of moms wooden message box in the front entryway.  He says, “  Look at this.  This is my moms. It is almost exactly the same. I grew up with this from the time I was little. As soon as I saw this I knew I had come home, and that this is the house for me.”  He shows me the picture and I am amazed. It is the same saying (If at home you do not find us, leave a note that will remind us) and it had pictures of Teddy bears on it.  He then shows me another picture…it is of mom’s kitchen…with her table in it…but with the walls all redone and painted.  He is planning on putting white wood going half way up the wall (vertical) with a wood trim, and painting the top a tan color….It looked so beautiful.  He had taken pictures of every room in the house he told me he wants to live in it just the way it is for a while…but he spends every spare moment with photo shop dreaming of what he can do with the house.  He told me he matched the brick outside and with photo shop came up with the colors he is painting the house…a tan and brown.  He also told me he drives by the house 3-5 times a week, at different times of the day, just to see what it looks like at different times of the day! He told me I could come by any time and see what he has done with the house.  He also told me he could tell the house was made with much love and could feel it in the house as he walked through.  He even asked me if mom sewed!  When I told her she had quilting classes one day a week in her kitchen, he got a big smile on his face, and said, “I knew it…mom was a sewer and so was yours…they would have loved each other…” He told me about his mom.  She is 93.  Where they live now he has to carry her up the stairs for her to use the bathroom.  He can’t wait for her to see the bathroom downstairs When I asked him which room she will get, he looks at me and says, “Oh that is up to her, she gets first choice!”  Then he asks me if he could take my picture as a clown to show his mom!  As we are talking his phone rings, he looks and says, “Oh, that is mom now!”  He tells her he has someone very special for her to talk to and hands me the phone.  Tears came to my eyes as I heard her voice, she called me honey and sounded just like grandma Serena.  She asked me what I was doing there and I said, “Oh, just clowning around!" (which made every one laugh) and then I told her, “Actually, I just came to say hi to your son and see if he was working hard enough….”  She replied…” He’s a hard worker that son of mine…I just love that boy so much!”  I told her I would stop by and see her sometime and we said goodbye he again invited me back to see the house any time….

I went into the house (actually Camden came out and said his balloon sword popped and asked me to make him a new one) I made two flowers out of balloons and took them out to him and told him that those were for “mom”.   He thanked me and told me he would take good care of the house and love it so very much….

What a precious time God gave to me today…I have such a peace about selling mom’s house now.  It may not yet be filled with kids…but today it was…It was filled with laughter, joy and fun…just like it always was.  God let me meet the wonderful family that is moving in.  They are people that will love the house and appreciate all the things in the house!  I am so glad I listened to the voice that said “Go!!” instead of listening to the voice of reason that said….”You don’t have time for this!”  I would have missed out on a precious last memory of moms house.  Listen to those still small voices….they usually are something great that God has planned for you!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Ths time last year I still could hug my momma!

This Time Last Year I Could Still Hug My Momma!
This is a hard time of year for our family.  A year ago on the 14th of September, my mom went home to be with the Lord. I was so close to my mom.  I talked to her 1-4 times a day, and thought I could never live without her.  Well, a year has gone by.  Although we have a huge whole in our hearts, we have made it. As I reflect on all that has happened this last year, I cant help but say, "Mom would have loved to see what we have done..." Not just Dave and I personally, but my whole family.  We have all grown this year...My brothers and sisters and I  talk on the phone every two weeks- for over an hour.  At first it was just business, but it has become more then that. We have become so  much closer.  We share with each other our hopes, dreams, accomplishments, and failures. We laugh together, cry together, and pray for each other.  This was something good that came out of mom's leaving us.  We know she has no more sorrow, no more pain...but our hearts are heavy this week.  It is a week of remembering...the last month with mom, the last week with mom, the last days with mom, and the last hours with mom. She was an amazing lady, a Godly lady. As I told my children, she was the real deal.  She loved God with her whole heart.  She lived each day to the fullest. 

That is what we need to do. We do not know how much time we have on this earth.  We need to dream big...and accomplish those dreams.  It is possible.  I look back at the pictures of Dave and I from a year ago and wonder "who were those people.."  How could we have let ourselves go so  much?  Did we stop caring? Did we become to busy?  What triggered it?  All I know is I never want to go back to being that couple that was living half a life. We can do more now then we ever could. We have a life that we can be proud of. So can you my friend. Anyone can accomplish anything they set their mind to.  I   know it is hard work. Believe me,  I know...but it is soo worth it. 
Thank you all of my faithful readers for all that you have done to show your support.  Your comments, your love, and your faithfulness never ceases to amaze me.  You are the reason why we have succeeded.  When I was ready to give up I would think of you and knew I could not let you down.  Please know you are all very special to me. As we go through this week, please keep my family in your prayers....we are all feeling mom's loss this week.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I can swim!!!

I Can Swim!

Last Saturday was a sad day for me. They closed the community pool.   This year I have used it more then ever before.  Just about every day I would go over and do  my laps and exercises in the pool.  I got to know a lot of people, and sometimes got 3-5 people joining me in my "Runs" across the pool.  As the summer came to an end I was filled with fear and sadness.  What was I going to do? The high school pool does not open for another month. I have no pool.  God provided an answer....

Rachael is a diver. She is not just a diver, she is a very good diver.  for the past three years they have not had a diving coach at Springville.  This year she was tired of it and was going to quit the team and do cheerleading instead.  I was so sad...she had such talent. I knew she would love it if she had a coach. She thought about it and decided she was going to do something about the no coaching situation...and join diving.  Every year we have wanted to send her to the University of Buffalo for diving coaching...we never have had the money to do that. It cost $300 at a time where we are always low on  money. This year she took the matter into her own hands....and made it possible.  I suggested, since her Grandpa Jeffers was a lifetime member of the Moose lodge that she wrote them a letter asking them to sponsor her. (one of the moms on the swim team suggested it)  She did that and they said they would sponsor her for $100.  She knew that was not enough so she organized a garage sale too.  She cleaned out every nock and cranny of my house and we put tons of stuff out.  We made her $200 the night we were setting up and another $200 the next day. So she had her money for coaching.  Tuesday night was the first night.  As I watched   my daughter work one on one with the coaches, I was filled with such pride. She made this happen. All the other girls were goofing around, and playing in the hot water...not Rachael. She was focused and determined to learn as much as she possibly could.  She did 10 dives, to the other girls 1 dive...and she enjoyed herself so much. The coaches enjoyed her so much they said she could come any day, every day (for the $300 you are supposed to only get 2 days per week.) Of course Rachael would love to go every day. This is after doing her first day of school till 2:30 swim practice from 2:30-5 and then diving practice at UB from 6-8.  That would be a very busy schedule.

As I walked around that huge, Olympic sized pool, I got the water bug.  I wanted to get right in.  I saw people coming in, and asked about it.  For $20/month I could go swimming as much as I wanted...plus, I could use the indoor track, racket ball, weight room and classes!  I was so excited!  I paid my $20 and got my cool plastic UB pass like Brandon has for his college! So the next day I was ready.  I had my swim suit supplies all in a bag, I had dinner in bowls ready to walk out the door and I was ready to do my first day of swimming.  I am not sure what happened, but once Rachael came in..."Hurry, hurry mom we got to go..."  things got a little hairy there for a few minutes.  We finally got into the car, got to the college, and I asked Rachael to grab my bag.....She looked in the back, and said, "There is no bag here mom!"  I had left my swim suit and towel home!  I was so disappointed...all day I had thought about swimming in that humongous pool!  I dropped her off and punched "SEARS" into the GPS.  I ran into Sears and grabbed about 25 suits off the rack and quickly tried them on. Some were too revealing, some were to big, some were to small. I found a black one...that was ok.  It would have worked on our cruise we are planning but really not appropriate for swimming.  Things were looking pretty slim. There were only a few left.  As I looked at my choices, my eye caught a black one that I had grabbed on a whim. It was size 10!  It looked like a swimmers suit...like my girls wear for the team!  I put it on and it fit like a glove. It was perfect for me. I know that was the one.  Then I looked at the price tag.  It was normally $88 marked down to $37. That was more than I had to spend.  I took it to the register and they confirmed that it was indeed $37.  The customer at the register was using a 20% off coupon. I asked her where she got it.  She told me that she got it in the mail.  When she finished her purchase the sales lady handed her back the coupon and said she could use it the rest of the day! She then handed it to me.  My $88 swimmers swim suit cost me $27! I was so excited.  I had a suit I could be proud of!
Off to the pool I ran.  As I was standing by that huge pool my heart was overflowing with gratitude to the wonderful God that we serve.  He cares about us.. He cares about not just our needs, but our wants and our desires.  He know my name!  He loves me and wants to see me happy! Boy was I  happy!  As I swam 50 laps in 45 minutes (it is sooo big there is no way I could make 100 the first night).   I was so thankful that God gave me the children and family that I have.  That Rachael took the initiative to make her dreams come true.  He loved me enough that He provided a place for me to swim, the desire of my heart. Not just any place to swim, but the best possible place in all of Buffalo!

When you get discouraged, please realize that God loves you with an undying love. He cares about you, and wants to see you happy.  Be specific when you pray.  Ask God for the desires of your heart. He may just shock you and give them to you!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

You have got to see pictures of both Dave and I!!!

This is us in our new outfits...I had to keep ordering smaller shirts...first 2X then XL then L and that is getting to big on me...could go with a med!

The new Dave and Kathleen...210 pounds lighter then we were a year ago!
I have loved this man since I was sixteen years old.  I thank God that I have such a wonderful, Godly man to share my future with! I am truely blessed!

We are ready for anything!
We thought we were doing good then...the beginning seems like so far away!  Thank the Lord that He gave us the strength to make it through!
This was us when we started!  I am so glad God brought Fawn into our lives and gave us the stamina to continue. 
I still have a ways to go...I have another 40 pounds to loose...so dont think you are donw with me yet...but God is doing some awesome things in our lives...I know He has great plans for us.  We could not have done this without all of you faithfully cheering us on...Love you guys so very much!!

This is the post I wrote one year ago today about my goal!

Will I Ever get skinny enough to fit into a size 10????

When I first wrote the title I wrote "you need a goal to work towards for when you get skinny but with all that Fawn has taught me I had to change it...it is not a matter of getting skinny..it is a matter of getting healthy. There are alot of unhealthy skinny people out there. My brother Larry is using this program to get healthy and gain weight. He has been plagued with rhumetiod arthritus for years. Since he started on Fawn's eating plan he is feeling better than he ever has. He is not hurting near as much, is able to walk upright, and last I heard he was going to be doing painting at church....it is working. You can be skinny and very unhealthy. So I had to change the wording.....
Choose you this day whome you will serve. As for me and my houe.. We will serve the Lord!

Anyways, I needed a goal. My mom was soo excited about our weight loss. She never told me how worried she was getting about our weight. (found out later from cousin after she passed away. We had gained so much and she knew it was not healthy for us. She is my inspiration. She would be so excited as I would tell her what we were doing. She was able to be a part of the first three weeks of it. She cheered us on through all of it! The week before she died I shared with her my goal. She had soo many beautiful dresses that she has worn all over the world on her trips, and her cruises..I told her I wanted to find one that could be my goal dress (size 10-12) I found a beautiful purple one. I told her when we get skinny enough, Dave and I want to go on a cruise and I will wear her dress. I had my daughter Becca put on the dress. She went into mom and I told her..."I know you wont be here to see me get this small, but this is what I will look like one day!" She looked at me with a big smile and said.."You can do it honey, I know you can!" I cry as I write those words...see for the past five years mom has said that to me soo many times. Every time I struggle with something...I would go to my mom and hear those words..."you can do it honey!" She was my biggest cheer leader in everything I did. So... how can I stop, how can I get descouraged when I know that my mommy is up in heaven cheering me on. She probably got a whole cheerleading squad up there! Just for me. Do I miss her terribly...you better believe it...I mis her so much that it hurts...but every time I get desouraged I look at the beautiful purple dress hanging on the back of my door and I hear the words, "You can do it honey... I know you can!"
This reminds me of my mom and I so different...but yet the same!

Jesus says.."I have come to give you life!" We need to live as each day is our last just like my m

I made my goal...almost a year to the day!

I Made My Goal! Almost a Year to the Day!
IF there is ever a time in my life that my heart is filled with joy, sadness, pride and a sense of accomplishment it is today.  One year ago, almost to the day, I asked my Becca to put on this dress for me.  I walked her beside my dying mothers bed and said these words to her...."Mom, this is my goal dress, someday I am going to wear this dress.  I know you will not be here to see that day, but I want you to be able to visualize what I will look like  when I am in it."  She looked at
Becca and said the words that I heard so often  out of her mouth," You can do it honey...I know you can and you will be so beautiful!"  She looked at my Becca and I know she was seeing me in that dress..
There were times that I did not think I would ever get into that dress. There were time I wanted to just sit down and give up1 But, as I look at this picture I feel so proud!. Mom would have been so very proud of Dave and I!  She would have loved to be a part of it.  But God had other plans.  Yet she was a part of it.  Each day I felt like I wanted to give up I would hear those special words..."You can do it honey, I know you can!"
I am copying and pasting those words I wrote so long ago below.  Read it, but get some tissues first.... love you guys...thanks for cheering me on...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


It has been so long since I have written here.  Not because I am doing poorly, but because I have been so very busy.  Summer time is a crazy time for us.  We are busy all the time.  What I need to let you know is we have both reached our latest goals.  Dave is now down to 248 so he has lost a total of 132 pounds and I am down to 198 so I have lost a total of 72 pounds.  The coolest thing is since Fawn started working with us we have both lost 72 pounds.  The amazing thing is togehter we have lost 204 pounds. I cried at the gym when I steped on the scale and was below 200...not just below (199.9) but at 198! in the afternoon with my gym clothes on!  I sat there and cried!  It was such an accomplishment.  Dave and I have lost a complete person...an adult...and not just an adult, an obease adult!  Every place we went today (our regular customers) they kept saying they can not believe how good we look.  They love the change in us.  I thank the Lord that we were able to loose it. It has been a year and we have kept it off, and continue to loose...that to me is amazing!  Thank you for all of your support. I will try to write about other things that have beeen going on soon!  I want to share with you about seeing Fawn, and the campign trip we went on.   Loveyou guys.  I could not do this without your love and support!

Saturday, July 16, 2011


Did you ever work at something soo hard and feel like you can never accomplish it.  That is what is has been like for me...My goal...to get below 200.  This morning I was 200.8.  Fawn is coming on Sunday. We are picking her up at the airport at 4.  I really want to be at 199.  I dont care if it is 199.9 as long as I am below 200!  I have never been this close. I really am so excited about it.  Please pray for me that I can do it.  I have less then 24 hours to loose .9 pounds.  My first reaction is to not eat....but I want to do it the right way, the way I have been doing it from the beginning...to me it would seem like cheating to do it that way.
Three days ago David called me in and asked me to read the scale for him....he told me he couldn't see it! YEAH RIGHT! He just wanted me to see that he was below 250. He was actually 248.  Part of me was soo excited for him...and part of me was...like what about me.  I have been working almost every day, doing my laps, going to the gym, and now he reaches his goal before me...after I just yelled at him for eating things he shouldnt be and not going to the gym...sometimes life just does not seem fair.  I am soo happy for Dave. He really looks awesome.  He is a real handsome man!!! I am thrilled that God blessed me with such a wonderful man.
Could you just take a minute to say a little prayer for me to be able to reach my goal...soon before Fawn leaves my house on Monday!  I dont think it is to trivial, or selfish.  I have been above 200 for this last twenty years...below 210 for the last 4  months.....If God cares about the hairs on my head (maybe a haircut would take off the weight!???) and cares about a fallen sparrow, then He knows the deirse  of my hear...he knows it would mean so much to me for it to happen when Fawn is here.  I will let you know when it happenss...it is going to be soon!!!
Thanks for all your love, your encouragment, and your support!
Love you guys,

Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Pool is open YEAH!!!! and I am 4 pounds from my goal!

Latley I have been feeling soooo fat, and not happy with myself at all.  I dont know why,,, just not happy with how anything is going..I have been too sick to go to the gym, and to scared to step on the scale, and not real happy about anything in general...Well, Today Becca woke me up with.."Want to go to the gym with me!"  I really cant resist that beautiful face.  I was still have asleep and said, "Uggg"  Which she took to meen "Yes!" because she said, "Good leaving in ten minutes!"  I pulled myself out of bed, through some clothes on and plopped myself down at the table.  She looked at me and said, "Are you ok?  You look horrible!"  to which I said "Uggg!"  We ate breakfast and she announced that we were not taking the car...but riding our bikes to the gym!  Guess what I said!   "Uggg!"  I got on my bike, still half awake and started to peddle...I love bike riding almost as much as I love swimming...It makes me feel like I can fly! I have not ridden to much in the past few years and we just got a new bike...so it woke me up, and I actually thought becca was riding much to slow for me.  When I got to the gym and changed Becca looked at me and said, "You look really good today mom!"  She also told me that while she was talking to freinds of ours from Virginia that they wanted her to wake me up at midnight to give me a hug and tell me I look amazing, and that they are sooo proud of me! With that I headed to the scales....  As I told you earlier, I really have been avoiding the scales,  I thought I had gone up to 220....some of my clothes were tight on me, and I was sure that I had gained a ton of weight,,,but I am a creature of habbit, so I stepped on the scale.  I was shocked to see that I was at 204...in the afternoon, at the gym...this is the lowest I have ever been at the gym!  I was soo shocked!  Then I started my routine.  It was hard at first, because I have not been there in at least a week, but I was able to do everything with three reps of fifteen, not ten...not to say, that I was not sweating like crazy ( I usually do not sweat!)  but I finished everything.  I then told Becca that I wanted to take the lead on the bike because she goes to slow!  I peddled my heart out and loved every minute of it.  I must say I got to the house quite a while before she got there!  We  had about a half an hour break and then I had to take becca to work(she is a life guard at the community pool.  I knew I had to swim...so I packed my bag and headed to the pool.  As I got there everyone said,  "It's freezing!"  So I sat and sunbathed for about half an hour...then I knew I had to get in...As I jumped in it really was freezing at first.  I looked at Becca (who had told me it was warm) and said, "you lied to me,,,it is freezing!"  But then I started to swim...It is magic when I start swimming.  I feel like I am lighter than air...Like I can do anything! I Kept swimming and swimming and swimming....and loveing every moment.  I polished off my 100 laps in 40 min!  It felt so good.  I feel soo good.  I just pray that I can continue with this.  It would be awesome if I could work out and swim every day.  I only need four pound until I can reach my goal...I would love to do it before July 17th when Fawn comes to visit!  I will let you know how I do!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I tried on Swimsuits and I can wear a size 12-14!!!

I Tried on Swimsuits! I Can Wear Size 12-14

If you have gotten to know me at all you will by now realize that I love to swim...There is something about the water that releases some sort of peace inside of me.  I feel skinny, light and unstoppable when I am in the water.  I love doing laps and swimming.  It makes me feel alive and rejuvenated.  Last year while at mom's house I had forgotten my swimsuit (I usually went swimming while I was at moms)  Mom pulled out a size 16 and said "Try this on!"  I thought...Yeah right... (I was a size 22 at that time!)  I squeezed my body into it as best as I could and swam. I know I stretched the suit out, but it has gradually been getting bigger and bigger on me.  This season it is pretty loose.  I went to try on suits and the 16 looked huge.  I tried on 5 different styles and they were all big. I had to go back and get the 12-14 size...AND THEY FIT!!! I was shocked!  I did not buy one, although I wanted to just for the size,but I now know I can fit into a 12-14!

Weigh In for Ten Months

Here are stats for both of us
Dave Starting weight-- 380
Dave's starting weight with fawn- 330
Dave's weight last week 258
Dave's weight today- 252
Weight loss for the week- 6 pound loss
Total weight loss with Fawn- 78 pounds
Total weight loss- 128 pounds!!!  ALMOST 130 POUNDS!!!!!

Kathleen's Starting weight-- 270
Kathleen's starting weight with fawn-260
Kathleen's weight last week 210
Kathleen's weight today-206
Weight loss for the week- 4 pounds
Total weight loss with Fawn- 54 pounds
Total weight loss-64 pounds!!!  YEAH!!!! (I want 70!!!)

Positives for Week
* I have been swimming laps 2 times this week
* Dave has been at the gym almost every day
* Dave looks amazing!!!!

Please know we are working hard to get to our goals. Mine seems to be going slower then Dave's, but I am hoping that once the pool opens up it will fall off me like it did when I started.  I seem to loose, then gain and loose again...Not fun...getting old quick IF I COULD JUST GET BELOW 200!  I know I would feel better about myself then.  We are doing well, we are enjoying life more then we ever have and have great plans for our future. 

Saturday, June 18, 2011

I am not a paper boy!!!

Paper Boy Clip Art

Last night my son called at 1am and told me he was not going to make it home to do papers...so Rachael and I were up, and had just finished a movie so I said we would do it.  I woke Dave up and told him what Brandon said and said, "We are up, you have help,,, why don't we just go now!"  Let me tell you it is a whole new world out there at 1am...the bars are going full swing, the animals are running all over...and it was dark and foggy...spooky kind of night!  It made me appreciate what my husband does so much more...As I ran from house to house with my daughter and husband I realized how truly blessed I am to have the family that I do.  For them to be willing to do this in the middle of the night, just to make sure our bills are paid is amazing... It is getting my son in shape.  He does not just walk up to the houses like Dave and I do, he sprints from house to house...in the dark.  The animals do not scare him...he loves chasing them and scaring them.... I went to Wal-Mart and got him a pair of shorts...his are literally falling off from him, and the 42 are a little big on him. He is down below 250 and looks awesome.  I am just so proud of the family that God has blessed me with...My heart is filled with love and gratitude for all that they do to make my life easier. I did realize that I can do anything I need to do...whether it is wearing a clown hat, a speaker hat, a baker hat (when someone needs donations for bake sales), a teacher hat (when I teach my awesome middle scholars), a mom hat, and yes, even a paper boys hat...when the need arises I can step up to the plate and be that too...God gives us the strength to do anything we need to do...

Friday, June 17, 2011

We are Back on Track!

Thank you all for all of your prayers.  We could tell that they were coming.  We have had a great week. We have restructured everything.  Dave now waits until 3:30am to start papers...then he gets home at 4:45.  Then him Brandon, Becca and I get ready and go to the gym by 5am.I love Springcrrek Athletic Club...It is amazing!  I have been working almost every day...so   When brandon or I am working we get ready at the gym and leave by 7am.  We have been doing a 2 hour workout every other day for the past week and a half.  It feels great.  We are on track with our diet and doing well.  I have not stepped on the scale, but I would be surprised if I did not loose.  Dave got his back put back in place and now he is rearing to go.  It feels so good to be back on track...My most exciting news is that the pool opens up in just 10 days!!! Once I can get back to my laps, I know it will come off!!! It is only through our determination and your prayers that we are able to do this...thank you again!  You are our cheerleaders....we could not do this without you!  You are awesome!  Love you all!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

You have to see how good Dave looks he has lost 130 pounds!!

 You Have To See How Good Dave Looks.  He Lost 130 Pounds!

This is Dave now! Size L or 36 waist! He has lost 130 pounds so far!
This was Dave last Aug 2010 size 3X or 46 waist He had already lost 60 pounds at this point!

 I know this does not make any sense since my last post, but this is from May 16th the latest pictures of Dave. I am so proud of  him...he has lost over 130 pounds!  That is why We need your prayer so much...we have gone too far for us to go backwards...
This is probably where we started going wrong...I felt he deserved a birthday cake. The picture makes it look much bigger then it is.  It is the tiniest carvel ice cream cake that they make. We really only had a small piece each but it was the start of our fall!

Isn't he sooo cute! He is much loved!
Look at how awesome he looks.  He looks years younger.  He is amazing! I have loved this man for 32 years!  Hard to believe. Who would have known when I was 16 that I would end up with such a handsome husband!  Rachael made all the signs for his birthday! He still makes silly faces, and still keeps me laughing!


We are struggling to get back on schedule

We Are Struggling to Get Back On Schedule

This has been a crazy month. We have not had as many shows so Dave has taken on a paper route to bring in some extra money.  This means getting up at 12:30am-3:30am and running from house to house delivering papers.  Now I does not sound to bad, only three hours, but when you interrupt  your sleep like that it causes all kinds of havok with your schedule.  It is also the end of the year at school, so I have been working as much as I can. There is only two weeks left, and that paycheck is gone. We have been working hard. and not getting anywhere, but behind in everything.  Dave is so tired during the days that he is too tired to make calls.  I have been working so much that I have not made calls for shows.  Luckily our summer is pretty much full.  The worst of the problem is we cant seem to get back on track with any of the food or exercise plan.  It happened so quickly.  We would be out at the mall and decide to eat out...whatever we wanted.  We were camping and decided "we were on vacation" We were doing shows and had no snacks so we stopped and got a baby sized ice cream.  We have been so busy that we have not had time for the gym.  I stepped on the scale this morning and almost choked when I saw 208 again.  I was down to 203. Now that is only 5 pounds, but I feel every one of those 5 pounds.  Because I have not been at the gym I know I have lost muscle and have replaced it with fat.  I can feel it. Clothes that fit me fine a week and a half ago...seem snug on me now.  Dave has been craving sweets like crazy.  The only good thing I did this week was to go swimming two times this week.  I did 100 laps each time, plus ran around the inside of the pool for 20 min.  I thought that would counter what I was eating but it did not. Dave is getting discouraged about not going to the gym.  When he does go he struggles with weights that were no problem for him two weeks ago.  He does not know what to do...I ask for your help...we need your prayers, your encouragement and your support right now.  We don't need you to say..."It s ok, everyone goes thru that!"  We need to you tell us to get going...and help us to get back on track!  We have come too far to go backwards.  It is frustrating beyond no measure to see the  scale go up instead of down.  I was supposed to get up and go with my Becca this morning at 5am and I was just too tired to do it.  We have had three weeks to adjust, we need to just get back on schedule and get\ moving in the right direction again.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

God is there even when you cant feel it!

This week has been very hard emotionally for Dave and I.  As I said earlier, we lost a good Godly man who was very special to us...His daughter put this on her face book.  It has touched me so very much....We expect God to give us blessings protection, healing, prosperity, and for God to ease our suffering...we get mad at God when we dont get the answers we want...God hears all of our prayers...sometimes we have to go through hard times to become the people that God wants us to be.  God is there....we should not doubt His love...Our healing may come through the tears, the pain, the trouble...

This song says it all....please listen to it..It is amazing...Get the tisssues!

Friday, May 20, 2011

It is time for us to step up and be the leaders....

It is Time To Step Up and Be Leaders
This has been a year of change for us.  A year of loss.  Not only of loosing weight, but  a year of loosing the great spiritual leaders that were a part of our lives.  My mom was the first.  My heart still hurts when I think about her being gone. So many time I reach for the phone and say..,"I've got to tell mom about that!" to reach back and realize...she is not there. We will also be loosing the house we grew up in.  This week we signed the papers for the sale of mom's house.  Although we know it is for the best, and we know that God picked the perfect family to move in there, we also know that as of July 22 we will no longer have a home to go home to.  It is bittersweet.  Another loss... The week after mom died Mr. D (our youth leader growing up) died.  He was the one that made our retreats fun...His singing, laughing and story telling were always special to me. 
This last week we lost another one of the Great Godly men from our life. Don Ensmenger has been a part of my life from as long as I could remember.  When I was a little girl he used to perform for us at church.  He always came over to our house for  lunch and he always shared with our family his desire to serve the Lord.  When I got to be a teen he used to perform at our summer camp. Everyone loved Mr. E. As Dave was interested in magic, Mr. E became his role model.  So much so that he wanted him to perform at our wedding.  As we moved from Albany back to WNY our friendship continued to grow.  Don was the perfect example of an evangelist.  Everywhere he went you felt like you were touched by God's presence. He lived his whole life with everything he had sharing the love of God with others he came in contact with. He was a a very special man.

As we stood beside his bed knowing that he was going to be with the Lord soon, we could just feels God's arms of protection around that man.  What an honor to be there when someone goes in the presence of the Lord. I think I have cried more over Don's death then any of the others.  I am not sure why.  Maybe because it reminded me of mom or maybe because I realized he was the last of the greats. I looked at Dave and said, "All of the prayer warriors are gone...who is going to pray...."  "All of the Great Godly influences in  my life are gone, who will I look up to.." As I stood by his bed in the last few minutes I thanked him for the wonderful Godly example he was in his life.  He was quiet and Solid, just like my dad.  In some ways, in the past 18 years he has taken the place of my dad.  He had wisdom that he would share and a heart of gold which he would reach out to anyone in need.  I told him Dave and I would not be the people we are today if it  was not for his Godly influence in our life.  His constant persistence of reaching others for the Lord.  I also told him it was time for Dave and I to step up to the plate and continue his journey.  We need to become the Godly leaders...We need to become the "Spiritually Strong"  We need to step up to the plate  and become the spiritual leaders that one day people will look up to.  It is kind of scary to realize that a whole generation is almost all gone.  We are now the older generation...We are the ones who need to pick up the Bible and start taking over where others left off.

Yesterday was also our Lifestyle change Bible study.  I was so looking forward to  it.  I needed my girls.  Needed to share all that I have gone through this week.  As I called the ladies the first one said she could not come, the second one said she could not come, one by one they were not able to make it. When Jeanette called and said she was not coming  I just started to sob.  I did not mean to, it just happened. I did not mean to make her feel bad, I just could not help it. As that Godly women prayed for me, I realized how lucky I am to have her in my life.  She prayed for peace. She also said God had something special planned for me.  As I got ready for my group I realized that I need to step up to the plate. I put a smile on my face and welcomed my guests.  Edith brought her sister in law.  What a character. She had just moved from Texas. She was so funny and we had such a good time.  I looked around my room and realized that God needed it to be just who we had there,  He knows best.  He is in control.  I was blessed by the people we had.  He is changing our group, refining it, and making us stretch.  I am so glad God is a better planner than I am.


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

This is what I said for Girlfriends day out!

My Journey to Transformation

I am Kathleen Jeffers, and I am on a Journey…not just any journey…but a Journey to transformation.   8 months ago I was not the person I am today… I had a disease…
My disease was different than any other…no one sent cards…saying praying …everyone could see it, but no one acknowledged it.  It is a disease that was slowly killing me…but no one, including myself were doing anything about it.
What was it…obesity…When I first looked at my doctors chart and saw those words…not just obesity, but extremely obese…I was offended.  I never looked at myself as obese…that is such a nasty word…. Fat Maybe…but more like big boned…or pleasantly plump as my husband used to say…but never obese.  I knew I was over weight…but  I did not feel it was a real problem.
A year ago my husband…who weighed 380  pounds at the time looked at me and told me…we need to loose weight.  I, who was over 270 pounds looked at him and said…what every good women says…”You go ahead honey…I will catch up with you later…You can do it!”  So he did…He started to exercise every night on an elliptical…Every night he would ask,  ”Do you want to join me?”  Every night I would say…”NO” 
See I was not ready. I had lost weight before….lots of weight.  An amazing thing happened…whenever I lost weight.  No matter how much weight I lost, I magically gained it all back and more…Kind of like a bonus!  I was not going to work hard to have that happen again.  Then, God started to work on my heart.  He used a book called "Slow but Sure!" Through this book, about another person that lost weight and kept it off, I was able to see that I could do it. 

I now had the desire but no idea how.  Exercise certainly did not appeal to me as it did my husband.  Although, at this time my husband was closing in on loosing 50 pounds, and still going with just exercise.  I was on face book and I saw a message from my niece, Fawn. She was saying she was going to work with this lady Audra and help her loose over 100 pounds.  As soon as I saw that I started to cry. I am too late. I wrote as fast as I could to Fawn saying, ”What about me? I need to loose weight to.  Will you work with me?”  She wrote back and said “Aunt Kathleen, I just happen to be arriving from LA to visit grandma next week…lets talk!”  So we did. We sat out on my moms deck and she told us her plan.  She made us look her right in the eye and make a commitment to her…As I looked her in the eye and said “I will do this!”  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  The next day she was at my house with garbage bags. She was cleaning out my cupboards, my fridge, my freezer and every other hiding spot I had in the house.  She left none of my comfort foods.
Let me tell you, I felt like I was stripped of all my security. I was lost. She left me with one box of whole wheat noodles, one jar of sauce and fruit and vegetables.  As soon as she left, I stood at my cupboards and cried! Looking back now,  I thank God she was strong enough to do that. She did it not to a stranger, but to her Aunt Kathleen!  Sometimes…we have to be stripped of all of our securities before God can do a great work in us….
Then started the change!  We totally changed how we ate, how we exercised, and what we did.  We blogged on the internet and followed her instructions perfectly. Let me tell you this was a hard time to try to loose weight.  My mother, who to me was the most Godly, loving mom in the world, and my best friend, was dying.  I would go over to her house and there would be literally tables stacked high of goodies and food that wonderful people brought over to comfort us.  I never touched one of them.  When I start to get discouraged. I look back at that time and say, "If I could do it then, when my heart was breaking…then I can do it now!"
I started to loose weight…My husband and I became a team…we learned how to encourage one another…we started to exercise together and we started to love each other in a new way! When we went to Disney this fall with our girls…they had to ask us to slow down. We were accomplishing our dream of being in shape. We were leading the healthy lifestyle.
It was great…
I loved having my husband work with me but I had a burden for other ladies who I wanted to help… I knew just who I wanted in my group.  I did not need the holy spirit to tell me. I was in charge. I invited them all and would you believe not one of them came!  No  one came…accept one lady…a friend of my mothers who I met at the gym.  She and I met for six weeks We prayed for six people in our group  and every week none of my friends showed up.  I used to call them, hound them, and write on face book because I knew they needed help...but they never came. See God had other plans…when my mom's friend  went to Florida for a month I gave up my idea of a class.  I said this is a waste of time. I am not giving up time I could be working for nothing.

But God had other plans.  He wanted to chose who he wanted in my group. He wanted me to give it over to Him. It was only by me letting go that God could work.  He started to bring the people that he wanted in my life.  They just started appearing. I would be working at the gym and one lady asked me to please work with her on losing weight. Another God brought to me at the pool. she wanted to lose weight. My friend came back from vacation and I called her and told her we were ready to start up again…the first week as we were praying I stopped and looked Janette in the eye and said,  ”Look around!  We have exactly 6 people here! "  I realized at that minute that our ways are not His ways. He handpicked our group of ladies.  He knew who needed to be together and formed us into a family.  He has blessed us every week..  We have not only lost weight, 40 pound as a group in 5 weeks, but we are growing spiritually and emotionally.
Ladies if I can leave you with two things today, It would be these two things. First, God can use you in a mighty way no matter what size you are, if you are willing to do His will.  Second, If you are at a point in your life that you are ready to make a change…seek help. For years I struggled on my own! It is so much easier with a group of ladies working towards the same goal. Together we can accomplish anything God set before us.